Ask Your Partner, How Can I Help

Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what you can do for your partner. At first, this may sound like we are asking you to sacrifice your needs, but imagine if both of you follow this principle - you're bound to have a happy relationship. A lot of times, partners drift away because their focus shifts to their own selves, forgetting that their partner is as human as them with their own set of vulnerabilities. 

Here are some easy ways to go about offering help to your partner, without coming across as patronizing.

1. Timing is Key

Choose a good time to ask. Make sure that your partner is in a good frame of mind and that you have their full attention. Avoid asking when they are rushed, stressed, or preoccupied with something else.

2. Be Mindful 

Use a sincere and open-ended question. Rather than simply asking "can I help?" or "do you need help?", try asking "how can I help?" This shows that you are open to any suggestions or requests that your partner may have.

‍3. Hear Them Out

Listen to your partner's response. It's important to really listen to what your partner has to say and not interrupt or dismiss their needs. Pay attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language, to ensure that you are understanding their perspective.‍

4. Offer Solutions

Give your partner specific and actionable ways that you can help. It's one thing to say "I'm here to help", but it's much more helpful to offer specific and actionable ways that you can support your partner. For example, you could say "I'm happy to take care of the kids while you go to your doctor's appointment" or "I can help with the dishes tonight so you can have some time to relax."

5. Deliver! 

Follow through on your offer. Once you have made an offer to help, it's important to follow through and actually do what you said you would. This shows your partner that you are reliable and that you really care about their needs.