Love suffers long and it is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails. And now these three remain - Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is love.
- From the show "The Office"
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
Sorry isn't the end of anything. If you mean it, it's supposed to be the beginning that leads to a change. So, the next time you find yourself apologizing to your partner, take a moment to reflect on how you can turn that sorry into a catalyst for positive changes in your relationship.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
Ever heard of relationship check-ins? They are a great way for maintaining a healthy relationship. They provide dedicated time and space for couples to express their needs, desires, and concerns, ensuring that both partners are on the same page in their relationship. Also, it's a myth that check-ins have to be difficult.
Building open, clear and safe channels of communication in your relationship not only removes the stress and distance of guesswork, they also bring in fulfilment, empathy and a real chance of growth. Remember, no matter how well you know your partner, you can't read their mind.
Pause, breathe, and connect. Your emotions matter so when you are upset about something, take the time to calm down before a discussion with your partner. This helps to identify the core concern, allows for clearer communication and nurtures a loving, respectful dialogue.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
We tried hobby swapping and found a whole new world of things to do together. Who knew? Turns out I actually liked some of his hobbies! Now we have a whole list of shared interests, and our bond is stronger than ever!
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
Myth: You should try to change your partner to fit your idea of the perfect partner.
Fact: It's essential to embrace and cherish your partner for the unique person they are. Each of us has our own special qualities that make us who we are, and it's important to acknowledge and appreciate those differences. Instead of trying to mould your partner into your ideal, try sharing your desires in a loving and understanding way.
Having shared goals and working towards them together has been very helpful in keeping our relationship strong e.g saving for a vacation. Having something to work towards together keeps us motivated and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
My partner would sometimes react strongly to a situation and it would catch me off guard. Over time we learnt to talk about it once things calmed down and it helped me better understand her triggers and how i can avoid them.
Little gestures go a long way in a relationship. Bear hugs, a good bye kiss before leaving for work, bringing home a small gift, or snack, etc are seemingly small deeds but have a great positive impact on a relationship.
Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
Expressing Gratitude towards your partner can be a powerful antidote to stress & an easy way to instantly uplift & transform your relationship. Remember, while a lot of us might know about this but we often forget to do it.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
Myth: I have arguments with my partner and that's a bad sign.
Fact: “The Enduring Love” research actually showed that lots of people value arguments, especially small disagreements, because they help to vent tensions rather than let them build up. They also let you learn what’s important to the other person and so can bring you closer.
Myth: My relationship with my partner should be effortless.
Fact: With any two unique individuals coming together, there are going to be differences. Every person and relationship is fundamentally imperfect. One has to work on their relationship every day to make it meaningful and lasting.
By Sakshi Saini (Counseling Psychologist)
Giving time to yourself and your partner to adjust with each other's habits, patterns and personality is important for a relationship to grow. No magic happens in one month or few weeks; a relationship takes its own time to cultivate.
I know love when I see it bloom. I know feelings when I see them in a room
Yeah, they just need me and you. I keep waitin' for you. ❤️ 😘
-- From Bloom by Prateek Kuhad
Most couples avoid having difficult conversations that are necessary to create a life together. Instead, they try to avoid these issues and hope they would work themselves out. However, the truth is that they can't be on the same page without consistent communication.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day - Notebook
Myth: I should not be vulnerable with my partner as it would make me look weak. Also, exposing my emotions might scare him.
Fact: Being vulnerable in a relationship means taking a risk. There is a chance of getting hurt, but there is also a chance of connection and growth. Vulnerability fosters closeness, trust, and intimacy.
I used to body-shame my partner by saying something negative about her height, looks, etc. But then I realized that I wasn’t having fun with her, but instead at her cost and it started to impact her mental health. I immediately apologized to her and stopped.
I don't care about the future. In this moment I have you, my love. That's enough for me. ❤️ 👫
Myth: My partner is responsible for my happiness.
Fact: While your partner has a role to play, happiness starts from self. When we think our partners are solely responsible for our happiness, we are putting a lot of pressure on that person, which becomes problematic in the long run. One should look for activities that bring them joy. It can be anything: watching your favourite movie, going out with your friends, listening to music, or a walk.
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
Wise men say, only fool rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you. So take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you - Kina Grannis
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
You know that saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? It's true for relationships too. If you're just going to run errands, discuss chores, and then zone out in front of the television for "fun," you're missing a whole level of connection.
You never leave my mind. Not even when I have a million things to think about. ❤
Myth: There are no secrets in a relationship.
Fact: While a healthy relationship has no space for lies and deceit, the truth is that you don't have to share every single detail and all your thoughts.
I want the kind of romance where even if every second doesn't sweep me off my feet, just a little hug erases the fatigue of the day. That is the kind of romance I want.
In this complex and confusing life, as you're working on your problems, you wonder what she's doing now. You think of someone other than yourself... Call that love
We realised that division of household chores makes everyone better off. Over time we figured out what each one of us is good at, what we each love/hate doing, and then arranged accordingly.
Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife
Over time i realised that i was showing love in a way that i understood and wanted to receive. I thought "doing things" for her was the way, but she wanted "quality time" together. A small change there had a huge impact on our relationship
Don’t complain about every small thing that irritates you. Be more accepting and let things be. Your partner is a different human being, so let them be that. Accepting the differences makes the similarities more enjoyable
People in a relationship don't flirt with others. If they do, it means they are unhappy and looking for something else
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
Sorry isn't the end of anything. If you mean it, it's supposed to be the beginning that leads to a change. So, the next time you find yourself apologizing to your partner, take a moment to reflect on how you can turn that sorry into a catalyst for positive changes in your relationship.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
Ever heard of relationship check-ins? They are a great way for maintaining a healthy relationship. They provide dedicated time and space for couples to express their needs, desires, and concerns, ensuring that both partners are on the same page in their relationship. Also, it's a myth that check-ins have to be difficult.
Building open, clear and safe channels of communication in your relationship not only removes the stress and distance of guesswork, they also bring in fulfilment, empathy and a real chance of growth. Remember, no matter how well you know your partner, you can't read their mind.
Pause, breathe, and connect. Your emotions matter so when you are upset about something, take the time to calm down before a discussion with your partner. This helps to identify the core concern, allows for clearer communication and nurtures a loving, respectful dialogue.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
We tried hobby swapping and found a whole new world of things to do together. Who knew? Turns out I actually liked some of his hobbies! Now we have a whole list of shared interests, and our bond is stronger than ever!
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
Having shared goals and working towards them together has been very helpful in keeping our relationship strong e.g saving for a vacation. Having something to work towards together keeps us motivated and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
My partner would sometimes react strongly to a situation and it would catch me off guard. Over time we learnt to talk about it once things calmed down and it helped me better understand her triggers and how i can avoid them.
Little gestures go a long way in a relationship. Bear hugs, a good bye kiss before leaving for work, bringing home a small gift, or snack, etc are seemingly small deeds but have a great positive impact on a relationship.
Expressing Gratitude towards your partner can be a powerful antidote to stress & an easy way to instantly uplift & transform your relationship. Remember, while a lot of us might know about this but we often forget to do it.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
Giving time to yourself and your partner to adjust with each other's habits, patterns and personality is important for a relationship to grow. No magic happens in one month or few weeks; a relationship takes its own time to cultivate.
Most couples avoid having difficult conversations that are necessary to create a life together. Instead, they try to avoid these issues and hope they would work themselves out. However, the truth is that they can't be on the same page without consistent communication.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
I used to body-shame my partner by saying something negative about her height, looks, etc. But then I realized that I wasn’t having fun with her, but instead at her cost and it started to impact her mental health. I immediately apologized to her and stopped.
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
You know that saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? It's true for relationships too. If you're just going to run errands, discuss chores, and then zone out in front of the television for "fun," you're missing a whole level of connection.
We realised that division of household chores makes everyone better off. Over time we figured out what each one of us is good at, what we each love/hate doing, and then arranged accordingly.
Over time i realised that i was showing love in a way that i understood and wanted to receive. I thought "doing things" for her was the way, but she wanted "quality time" together. A small change there had a huge impact on our relationship
Don’t complain about every small thing that irritates you. Be more accepting and let things be. Your partner is a different human being, so let them be that. Accepting the differences makes the similarities more enjoyable
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.
Love suffers long and it is kind. It is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails. And now these three remain - Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is love.
- From the show "The Office"
I know love when I see it bloom. I know feelings when I see them in a room
Yeah, they just need me and you. I keep waitin' for you. ❤️ 😘
-- From Bloom by Prateek Kuhad
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day - Notebook
I don't care about the future. In this moment I have you, my love. That's enough for me. ❤️ 👫
Wise men say, only fool rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you. So take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you - Kina Grannis
You never leave my mind. Not even when I have a million things to think about. ❤
I want the kind of romance where even if every second doesn't sweep me off my feet, just a little hug erases the fatigue of the day. That is the kind of romance I want.
In this complex and confusing life, as you're working on your problems, you wonder what she's doing now. You think of someone other than yourself... Call that love
Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife
Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
Myth: You should try to change your partner to fit your idea of the perfect partner.
Fact: It's essential to embrace and cherish your partner for the unique person they are. Each of us has our own special qualities that make us who we are, and it's important to acknowledge and appreciate those differences. Instead of trying to mould your partner into your ideal, try sharing your desires in a loving and understanding way.
Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
Myth: I have arguments with my partner and that's a bad sign.
Fact: “The Enduring Love” research actually showed that lots of people value arguments, especially small disagreements, because they help to vent tensions rather than let them build up. They also let you learn what’s important to the other person and so can bring you closer.
Myth: My relationship with my partner should be effortless.
Fact: With any two unique individuals coming together, there are going to be differences. Every person and relationship is fundamentally imperfect. One has to work on their relationship every day to make it meaningful and lasting.
By Sakshi Saini (Counseling Psychologist)
Myth: I should not be vulnerable with my partner as it would make me look weak. Also, exposing my emotions might scare him.
Fact: Being vulnerable in a relationship means taking a risk. There is a chance of getting hurt, but there is also a chance of connection and growth. Vulnerability fosters closeness, trust, and intimacy.
Myth: My partner is responsible for my happiness.
Fact: While your partner has a role to play, happiness starts from self. When we think our partners are solely responsible for our happiness, we are putting a lot of pressure on that person, which becomes problematic in the long run. One should look for activities that bring them joy. It can be anything: watching your favourite movie, going out with your friends, listening to music, or a walk.
Myth: There are no secrets in a relationship.
Fact: While a healthy relationship has no space for lies and deceit, the truth is that you don't have to share every single detail and all your thoughts.
People in a relationship don't flirt with others. If they do, it means they are unhappy and looking for something else
