I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.
Ever heard of relationship check-ins? They are a great way for maintaining a healthy relationship. They provide dedicated time and space for couples to express their needs, desires, and concerns, ensuring that both partners are on the same page in their relationship. Also, it's a myth that check-ins have to be difficult.
Having shared goals and working towards them together has been very helpful in keeping our relationship strong e.g saving for a vacation. Having something to work towards together keeps us motivated and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.
You know that saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? It's true for relationships too. If you're just going to run errands, discuss chores, and then zone out in front of the television for "fun," you're missing a whole level of connection.
