Most couples avoid having difficult conversations that are necessary to create a life together. Instead, they try to avoid these issues and hope they would work themselves out. However, the truth is that they can't be on the same page without consistent communication.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
Little gestures go a long way in a relationship. Bear hugs, a good bye kiss before leaving for work, bringing home a small gift, or snack, etc are seemingly small deeds but have a great positive impact on a relationship.
