Building open, clear and safe channels of communication in your relationship not only removes the stress and distance of guesswork, they also bring in fulfilment, empathy and a real chance of growth. Remember, no matter how well you know your partner, you can't read their mind.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
I used to body-shame my partner by saying something negative about her height, looks, etc. But then I realized that I wasn’t having fun with her, but instead at her cost and it started to impact her mental health. I immediately apologized to her and stopped.
You know that saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? It's true for relationships too. If you're just going to run errands, discuss chores, and then zone out in front of the television for "fun," you're missing a whole level of connection.
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
Pause, breathe, and connect. Your emotions matter so when you are upset about something, take the time to calm down before a discussion with your partner. This helps to identify the core concern, allows for clearer communication and nurtures a loving, respectful dialogue.
