My partner would sometimes  react strongly to a situation and it would catch me off guard. Over time we learnt to talk about it once things calmed down and it helped me better understand her triggers and how i can avoid them.

Pause, breathe, and connect. Your emotions matter so when you are upset about something, take the time to calm down before a discussion with your partner. This helps to identify the core concern, allows for clearer communication and nurtures a loving, respectful dialogue.

As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating

In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.

I unknowingly started expecting my partner to be a reflection of myself, often asking "why can't you also" when pointing out things I do. But I realized that he brings his own strengths to the relationship, and expecting him to mirror me is not fair or healthy.