Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
Ever heard of relationship check-ins? They are a great way for maintaining a healthy relationship. They provide dedicated time and space for couples to express their needs, desires, and concerns, ensuring that both partners are on the same page in their relationship. Also, it's a myth that check-ins have to be difficult.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.