Myth: My partner is responsible for my happiness.
Fact: While your partner has a role to play, happiness starts from self. When we think our partners are solely responsible for our happiness, we are putting a lot of pressure on that person, which becomes problematic in the long run. One should look for activities that bring them joy. It can be anything: watching your favourite movie, going out with your friends, listening to music, or a walk.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
