Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.
I used to body-shame my partner by saying something negative about her height, looks, etc. But then I realized that I wasn’t having fun with her, but instead at her cost and it started to impact her mental health. I immediately apologized to her and stopped.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
Little gestures go a long way in a relationship. Bear hugs, a good bye kiss before leaving for work, bringing home a small gift, or snack, etc are seemingly small deeds but have a great positive impact on a relationship.
In love, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, but understanding and addressing the Withdrawer vs. Pursuer dynamic can significantly improve how you navigate a conflict and your relationship. It's a journey of self-awareness and empathy that can lead to a stronger and healthier partnership.
Most couples avoid having difficult conversations that are necessary to create a life together. Instead, they try to avoid these issues and hope they would work themselves out. However, the truth is that they can't be on the same page without consistent communication.