Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
Giving time to yourself and your partner to adjust with each other's habits, patterns and personality is important for a relationship to grow. No magic happens in one month or few weeks; a relationship takes its own time to cultivate.
I realised over time that not all conversations are meant to be discussed logically, some are purely emotional e.g my partner feeling jealous when i speak with a girl is an emotion and I shouldn't try to explain it logically. This change made things so much easier for me.
Having shared goals and working towards them together has been very helpful in keeping our relationship strong e.g saving for a vacation. Having something to work towards together keeps us motivated and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
When we fight, one of us tries to stay calm and not make it a win-loss ego situation. It doesn't mean don't share your point of view, instead, wait for the nerves to have calmed down.
