Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
Having shared goals and working towards them together has been very helpful in keeping our relationship strong e.g saving for a vacation. Having something to work towards together keeps us motivated and gives us a sense of accomplishment.
Building open, clear and safe channels of communication in your relationship not only removes the stress and distance of guesswork, they also bring in fulfilment, empathy and a real chance of growth. Remember, no matter how well you know your partner, you can't read their mind.
Sorry isn't the end of anything. If you mean it, it's supposed to be the beginning that leads to a change. So, the next time you find yourself apologizing to your partner, take a moment to reflect on how you can turn that sorry into a catalyst for positive changes in your relationship.
Over time i realised that i was showing love in a way that i understood and wanted to receive. I thought "doing things" for her was the way, but she wanted "quality time" together. A small change there had a huge impact on our relationship
