Are you a happily bonded couple or do you feel there is more scope to make your relationship better? Most couples feel that there is always more needed to have an everlasting bond. So what's the secret to building a strong and healthy connection with your partner?
We spoke with couples from across India who are under 40 to learn what healthy habits do they have which help them build a strong relationship. Along with trust, respect, and communication being the basics, there are a lot many habits one can build in their day-to-day life to help strengthen their relationship as a couple. Continue reading to learn 10 habits shared by these couples
Neha and Rohit, a married couple from Delhi, understand the significance of simple and small physical gestures of love, such as holding hands or hugging, in their relationship. "For us, these simple acts create a profound impact on our bond. When we are out for a walk or spending time together, we always hold hands, which helps them feel more connected to each other," informs Rohit.
For Neha, it's a way to express affection, and for Rohit, it gives him a sense of comfort and security, knowing that they are always there for each other. Since getting married in 2014, they have realized that these small gestures can bring immense joy and happiness to their lives, creating a strong foundation for their relationship.
Shreya and Ankit from Mumbai write that they think it's essential to disconnect from technology and spend quality time together. "We have a 'no-phone' rule when we're eating dinner together. We talk about our day and connect on a deeper level," says Shreya. "We also enjoy going for walks and exploring new places without any distractions," adds Ankit who asserts that devoted time to each other while communicating is the need of the hour for free-flowing emotions.
According to him, when they are constantly checking their phones, they become less present in the moment and less attentive to each other. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and emotional distance. Ankit who got married to Shreya in 2009 asserts, “On the other hand, by actively listening and engaging with each other, we have strengthened our emotional bond as there is no communication gap.”
Simran and Karan from Chandigarh have been married since 2017. They believe that it's important to argue constructively. "We make sure to focus on the issue at hand and avoid name-calling or personal attacks," says Simran. "We also try to understand each other's perspectives and find a solution that works for both of us," adds Karan, who believes that this practice has helped them see the issue from different angles and find a solution that works for both of them.
“With time and guidance from our elderly friends, we learnt that this approach fosters a sense of cooperation and mutual respect, which helps to build a stronger relationship overall. By avoiding toxic communication patterns (like personal attacks, name-calling, blaming each other, etc) and instead prioritizing respectful communication, we are able to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings that can damage our relationship,” shares Simran.
Pooja and Arjun from Bengaluru, Karnataka prioritize one-on-one time in their busy schedules. They assert that beyond the tech detox, couples should try and build rituals like regular date nights. "We make sure to have a date night every other week where we do something fun together," says Arjun. "It's important to have quality time together to break the mundane routine; these habits keep us less focused on worries and more focused on future goals and current good life," adds Pooja.
Arjun further recalls,” The date nights have bonded us better by creating a shared experience and memory. The more time we take off from daily mundane life, the stronger our connection has become and the better we understand each other's needs and desires. It also helps to keep the spark alive in the relationship, which is vital for everyone as a couple. And this has been our ritual since 2010 when we got engaged."
Supporting each other's dreams is important in a relationship because when one partner is pursuing a dream, they may face challenges or setbacks, and having the support and encouragement of their partner can help them stay motivated and focused.
In the example of Nisha and Vikas from Jaipur, Rajasthan, they both recognize the importance of supporting each other's dreams. “Nisha not only encourages me to pursue my goals but also helps me in every way she can by getting the right advice through her network as well as ensuring that in my low days, I can stay balanced. She ensures we take a break when I face issues at work to break the monotony. This not only shows her love and support for me but also demonstrates her commitment to our relationship,” smiles Vikas who has been married to Neha since 2020.
Similarly, Nisha also acknowledges Vikas’ role in her success and values his support and encouragement. Overall, honouring each other's dreams is a way to show love, support, and respect in a relationship, which can strengthen the bond between partners.
Kritika and Anshul from Hyderabad recommend removing toxic relationships from your life. "We've cut off toxic friends and family members who were causing negativity in our relationship," says Kritika. They explain the why and how of this mental health science…
“Toxic relationships can negatively impact any and every relationship. Negative people can drain their energy and create unnecessary drama that can affect any and everyone’s mental health and relationship. We realised that this was often the cause of friction amongst us, and we realised that when we used to discuss things openly with each other,” informs Kritika
“So we began detaching ourselves from people who were causing negativity in our life. For this, we identified them, had internal conversations, and came up with a plan to remove these individuals from our lives. Whether it was through setting boundaries or cutting them off completely, we took all possible steps,” recalls Kritika who asserts that in a healthy relationship, two people must let go of whatever is holding them back from staying mentally healthy.
“This effort for us was self-care and not being selfish, and this we learnt via our parents. They made us realise that at times the cause of our friction would be jealous friends or a few relatives and even some office colleagues! The disconnect with such people helped us create a more positive and healthy environment for us to thrive. By prioritizing our mental health and relationship, we have bonded better over the years," smiles Anshul, who has been married to Kritika since 2010.
Aditi and Nitin from Pune, Maharashtra believe in giving each other self-care time and space. "We make sure to prioritize our individual self-care time and respect each other's need for alone time," says Nitin. "We also support each other in pursuing our hobbies and interests, which helps us grow individually and as a couple," adds Aditi.
Why do you do so? Team Baely asked them, to which Aditi responds, “As a young couple in 2009 we used to have a lot of arguments over various things. After some two years, a close friend suggested that we see a relationship counsellor. He taught us how prioritizing self-care time helps recharge and rejuvenate human beings. We began practising it slowly by incorporating half an hour per day and later graduated to more, via building our own circles and me time beyond our time together.”
Nitin adds, “This helped us to take care of our physical and mental health, which in turn positively impacted our relationship. Aditi agrees and adds that giving each other self-care time and space also helps them respect each other's boundaries and needs.
Riya and Varun from Kolkata have always prioritized open and honest communication in their relationship. This has been their Mantra since they committed to each other in 2012. They understand that assumptions and misunderstandings can often lead to unnecessary conflicts and hurt feelings.
For example, once when Riya was feeling insecure about Varun's relationship with a female colleague, instead of assuming the worst, she decided to talk to Varun about her feelings. "I didn't want to keep any doubts or misunderstandings between us," Riya says. "I asked Varun if he had any romantic interest in her, and he immediately assured me that he only saw her as a friend. That conversation really helped me let go of my insecurities."
Varun appreciates that Riya always tries to avoid assumptions and ask for clarification. "Riya has taught me the importance of listening to my partner and not making assumptions," he says. By prioritizing open communication and avoiding assumptions, Riya and Varun have built a foundation of trust and understanding in their relationship.
“Since 2013, working together as a team has helped build a sense of partnership and collaboration in a relationship. For example, when Anjali and I are cleaning the house, we divide the work equally and help each other out. Now, we also make sure to involve our kids in household chores, which not only teaches them responsibility but also helps us bond as a family. This habit of working together as a team makes us feel like we are in this together and strengthens our relationship,” informs Rahul who had an arranged marriage with Anjali in Jan 2013.
Anjali adds, “What makes us bond better is also expressing gratitude and appreciation towards each other for small gestures and efforts that can make a big difference in a relationship. For instance, when Rahul brings me a cup of tea in bed in the morning, I ensure to thank him and tell him how much I appreciate his efforts. Similarly, when I prepare Rahul's favourite dish for dinner, he ensures he hugs me and lets me know I am well appreciated. This started off as a gesture to teach our children in 2017…to teach them the value of gratitude. And later it became our daily ritual which now has become a habit! This habit of showing appreciation and gratitude helps us feel valued and loved by each other, and it creates a deep sense of belonging and bonding.”
Nidhi and Sanjay from Chennai recommend practising empathy in your relationship. "We try to understand each other's perspectives and feelings, which helps us avoid misunderstandings," says Nidhi. "For instance, if Sanjay had a bad day at work, I ask him about it and try to understand his feelings instead of just dismissing it or changing the topic," she adds.
Sanjay agrees, "In my low days, she always makes me feel better by listening and offering words of encouragement. And Nidhi's empathy helps me open up and share my feelings, which is essential for any healthy relationship. We had an arranged marriage in 2017. I fell in love with her due to this amazing nature of hers."
Nidhi believes that by understanding each other's perspectives and feelings, they can avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. “After all, practising empathy is a testament to the power of compassion,” Nidhi gives a big smile.
In conclusion, these couples understand that a successful relationship takes effort, commitment, and communication. By incorporating these small healthy habits into their daily lives, they have been able to create healthier and happier relationships. And you also can have the same…all it takes is some empathy towards each other. If you would like to share healthy habits that you follow as a couple, do share it us at hello@thebaelyapp.com.
