This week we take you to meet Chinmay and Anaika Joshi, a very lively couple who has seen the ups and downs of life in so many ways together. Recently financial expert and coach Chinmay had to move base from one city in Gujarat to another. And his Fashion Designer, NLP Master Practitioner Anaika stood out as his rock of Gibraltar, but she claims otherwise. Why so? Let’s explore their life story and what keeps them going despite certain strong struggles in life. Consulting Editor Mahima Sharma explores the exclusive life story at Baely….
Before we start knowing Chinamy and Anaika, who are they? Chinmay is a Pilot from Sydney Australia, a Finance Management Coach, and a life and business strategist. Anaika is a fashion designer who has worked with Vikram Phadnis and Manish Malhotra, she has also worked with Yashraj Films as an Assistant Casting director, and with Sanjay Leela Bhansali as an assistant director in the movie Bajirao Mastani.
Now over to Anaika for sharing their life story. She starts sharing from the day they first met, “I was 29 and he was 30. Told him that walk into my life as a husband as we don't have time to date. We had the same values and vision for our lives. That led us to decide together within 15 days that we are perfect for each other.”
Chinmay laughs to add, “She almost chased me into it, that confident she was. But I took a fortnight to say YES that too on her birthday. I love the way she is the light of joy for all, the bubbly behavior, the acceptance of her life and her own self-care, others' care, etc. She was very honest about her life, her ups and downs of life, etc. She is the one who taught me how to express love to anyone and everyone around me!”
On December 22, 2017, they got married. It's been blissful life in the last five years, the assert but then they had to work on their relationship from time to time to make it blissful. And that’s their story!
Anaika informs me, “We work together. I did fashion designing for a short period of time before my wedding. But now we work as business partners. I manage Chinmay's team as a Life Coach.”
Chinmay opens up and laughs, “Ok one by one Anaika, that’s too quick. Anaika is very good at taking initiative and processing. I am good at managing people. We also assisted her dad in his Talent Management company. And this does not mean that we don't clash at work, we do. But with time, we have slowly learned to avoid these clashes. The step we took was - we divided the decisions as per our expertise. This way clashes are less. Consistent talks even if we disagree about a certain thing are important to understand each other’s viewpoints; Also, whenever one of us is in a zone of disagreement, we take a break on that matter and calm down, in a better mind frame and talk to take a united decision.”
Anaika adds, “Ego clashes are avoidable as spouses provided we think deeply about long-term goals that we need to achieve as partners. The whole idea is to ensure a good result. Also, we resolve and then we go to sleep.”
Chinmay looks into oblivion for once before speaking back to me after gathering a few thoughts, as his tiny kitten peeps into my face! He adds, “We both say sorry to each other, even if one might be at fault! This kills the egos!”
Anaika says, “We connect spiritually plus his mom has raised a very gentle son. So he duly respects the women in his life. So when he says sorry, it automatically comes into my behavior as well. So my sorry is very natural as gratitude to his egoless values and persona.”
Anaika comes back to sharing their work life and their clashes at work, She adds, that when they clash over some matter, “He makes me understand his viewpoint in a very gentle manner. When I met him, I was unclear about my future, so he automatically not only became my BAE but my life coach as well. So, the moment he tells me something as a suggestion, I switch on him being the coach mode. And then in general life, I switch on his partner mode. This segregation also helps me see his advice from various perspectives and not as a critique alone. I am able to better take it as a piece of advice rather than criticism. Listening to your partner is very important, because every single piece of advice matters, and each single emotion matters. You may not instantly agree, but listen. Listen actively at that, absorb it, and then respond instead of an immediate reaction, which might lead to a conflict.”
Chinmay smiles and simplifies it further for Baely’s readers, “Initially as a couple, we used to focus on problems. All of us do so. But then we realized that we are missing ourselves as a couple. So we changed the pattern. I guided her, to find answers within herself also, because I cannot always be around as a coach!
We have to be friends, we have to be partners, we have to enjoy life also na! We do discuss issues, but with an alert that "Coach Mode is on."
Chinmay recalls the crucial times, “Anaika was struggling with some mental health issues, and depression due to her struggles with her work and she accepted that...that's important for me. I did a Nutritional Course, we consulted a Psychiatrist, and we consulted our father who is an Ayurvedic doctor. In short, we worked on the situation as partners.”
Anaika adds that overcoming it was a huge task. She adds, “It was not just depression but also lack of nutrition due to stress, and pressure amid work. Sleepless nights etc. I was over-ambitious about being an actor. I just felt it would be easy due to my dad. But each one has their own destiny. I took on Anchoring events and shows and during one of such events I met Chinmay and it changed my path of life. He accepted me with all my flaws. He helped me, he coached me, he nurtured me and our bond has become rock solid. Rather he is my rock of GIBRALTAR!!”
Here Anaika steps in to sum it up for us all, “In our daily routine, we begin by jotting down ten things we're grateful for in our bright yellow book, each with a vibrant red pen. This ritual shifts our attention towards the wonders in our lives, setting a positive tone for the day ahead. We take fifteen minutes to meditate and another fifteen for pranayama, focusing on our breath to find inner calm. Following this, we invest thirty minutes at the gym, dedicating ourselves to physical exercise and well-being. CJ's interest lies in Martial Arts, particularly Karate. He spends time learning and mastering its techniques. Before bed, we reflect on our day and the valuable lessons we've learned, capturing them in our personal journals.”
“In a marriage, we don't depend on each other, we complement each other. We are not 2 individuals longing for each other's love. We are 2 individuals so full of love that we overflow it on each other,” asserts a smiling Chinmay.
Anaika adds, “We don't look for constant approvals from each other, we look for growth and contribution for each other. It all didn't happen overnight, we worked towards it every day of our marriage. Marriage is not a 1-time event, it's a lifetime event to celebrate the friendship you create with each other. We don't complain about each other to anyone else. We work together, we communicate, we celebrate each and every mistake and achievement, and enjoy the roller coaster of this beautiful relationship together. “
Their Joint Advice:” If you don't think your relationship is where you want it to be, now is the time to change. Have a picture, a vision about your relationship, and work together towards it.”
