Is an annual vacation enough to keep your relationship strong? Are you relying on a yearly escape to sustain a healthy bond as a couple? As we all know, vacations can be a great way to relax, unwind, and spend quality time with our loved ones. But what happens when the vacation is over and we are faced with the same issues and stressors that existed before?
Mental health experts believe that relying on an annual vacation as the only way to maintain and strengthen the relationship is detrimental. Why?
As Dr. Subodh Roy, Psychiatrist and Relationship Wellness Expert from Kolkata states, "I cannot stress enough the importance of nourishing and nurturing your relationships on a regular basis. Vacations can be a wonderful way to reconnect and recharge, but they should not be the only way we tend to our relationships."
So why is relying solely on an annual vacation problematic? And what can we do to maintain and improve our relationships on a regular basis? This article delves deeper into these questions and real-life couples share their tips on how they make regular quality time in their relationship.
Vacations with our partner can paint a picture of pure bliss, where the change of scenery, relaxation, and quality time spent together to make it seem as if all of our troubles have vanished. Relationship expert Raman Batra from New Delhi shares, “But like a mirage, it's only an illusion. Vacations offer a reprieve from the everyday stressors that weigh on our relationships. As soon as the trip comes to an end, reality sets in ….people face the same issues they had before. Using an annual vacation as the only means of maintaining and strengthening a relationship is a slippery slope.”
Couples may be so caught up in having a good time, that they fail to address the problems that exist within their relationship. Dr. Suobosh Roy asserts, “Once the vacation is over, these issues will still be there, waiting to be dealt with. Only through consistent care and attention can we truly keep our relationships strong.”
“An annual vacation may not provide enough time for a couple to strengthen their bond and deepen their connection. Spending quality time together on a regular basis is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. This means setting aside dedicated time to focus on each other, without distractions or interruptions. This can be done through having rituals as a couple like regular date nights, weekend trips, or even just setting aside time to talk and connect with each other at home.
Dr. Charu Batra, wife of Raman Batra says, “An annual vacation may provide a temporary break from the monotony of daily life, but it can also lead to a lack of growth and development in the relationship. Without new experiences on a regular basis like taking up some physical activity, cooking together, etc to create memories; or discussion on growth opportunities as a couple, like talking about life goals e.g creating a retirement plan, etc - without such memories and discussions, the relationship may become stagnant.”
Clinical psychologist Dr. Sakshi Sinha Pandey from Purnia, Bihar shares her life experience, “if a couple relies on an annual vacation as the only way to spend quality time together, it can put a lot of pressure on the trip plan and execution. And if God forbid, something goes wrong, it can lead to resentment.”
In addition to the above, another relationship expert Raman Batra adds four more quick issues that are expected to cause issues among couples if they just take one annual vacation:
The above can affect couples in such a way that it prevents them from spending regular quality time with each other. And that in a way can hinder healthy communication between the partners.
Mental Health experts believe that blocked or hindered communication creates bad relationships due to the feeling of suffocation by not speaking out about the basic needs and wants that need to be shared more often. And when a couple is on more trips together than a single vacation or spends more time together in other ways like a short trip around their city/a long drive/date night etc they are able to communicate better.
Now let's turn to real-life couples to learn how regular activities and rituals together have benefitted them as a couple
"Regular quality time is the heartbeat of our relationship. Without it, we would drift apart. We make sure to set aside dedicated time to focus on each other, whether it's a regular date night, a long drive, or a weekend trip. Also, the fact that we are business partners allows us to spend quality time pursuing our joint passion. Regular breaks allow us to stay connected in a better way by sharing what’s on our mind before it develops into a bigger issue; thus helps us strengthen our bond," writes Juhi Kulshreshtha, Co-founder of HR Tech firm REVIEWIA who is into her 14th year of marriage and more of togetherness with her husband Arijit Bose.
Regular short vacations and regular activities together over an annual one, have helped us provide several opportunities to disconnect from the distractions and stressors of daily life. This has helped create a more relaxed and open environment for conversation to talk about sensitive or difficult topics without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. It's through this that we have built trust and intimacy." - Sarah and Michael state from Kerala, they have been together for the last 19 years now and married the past 10 out of these. Michael adds, “Our regular time together gives us opportunities to have open dialogue and share our interests, thoughts, feelings, and more with each other. Doing things together has offered us the joy of interdependence and thus a feeling of security. As we get to know more about each other, we bond better as a couple.”
When you travel together regularly, you learn about the other person’s strengths beyond the home environment. Lisa and Mark Mathew from Mumbai are real-life examples of one such couple who learned how to create a better future via travelling together. “Our travel preferences are sometimes different and multiple shorter trips help us do what we both want instead of either of us feeling left out for more. One short trip is about adventures in the hills that I like and one is about beach relaxation which he prefers; another one is about us chilling in nature, at some homestay…doing nothing! Planning regular breaks together also helped us learn how to work better as a team of two over being two different individuals by helping us adjust to each other’s needs and wants, and also helped us understand other’s strengths while facing various challenges during travelling - we all face so, right? And facing it together, and resolving it also helps us manage bigger challenges in life in a better way as a team.” Just for records, Lisa and Mark are avid travellers, so much so that now their 2-year-old daughter also travels with them…and has already been to three countries as an infant!
In conclusion, regular investment in a relationship is crucial for maintaining a healthy and long-lasting relationship. This includes regular quality time, effective communication and open dialogue, effort and compromise, and building a shared vision and goals for the future. By making an effort to invest time and energy into their relationship on a regular basis, couples can create a strong foundation for their relationship that can withstand the challenges that may arise.
Why Regular Activities are Key to a Happy and Healthy Relationship
